North Carolina's New Sex Law: A Waste of Time While Real Problems Go Ignored
I need to talk about something that's been making my blood boil: North Carolina just passed a law declaring that sex is biologically only male or female.
Let me be crystal clear about this: this law is stupid, discriminatory, and a complete waste of legislative time and resources while our state has actual, real problems that desperately need attention.
What This Law Actually Does
North Carolina's new law codifies that biological sex is defined as either male or female, determined at birth based on reproductive anatomy. It affects how sex is recorded on birth certificates and other state documents.
The stated purpose? "Clarity." As if there was some massive confusion happening that required legislative intervention. Spoiler alert: there wasn't.
What this law actually does is discriminate against transgender and non-binary people. It erases intersex people, who are born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn't fit typical definitions of male or female. And it signals to LGBTQ+ folks that North Carolina's government doesn't see them, doesn't value them, and doesn't care about their wellbeing.
This isn't about biology. It's about control and discrimination dressed up in pseudo-scientific language.
What Our Legislature Should Be Doing Instead
You want to know what actually needs legislative attention in North Carolina? Let me tell you about some real problems affecting real people:
We Have No Surrogacy Laws
North Carolina has exactly zero comprehensive surrogacy legislation. Families building their futures through gestational surrogacy are navigating a legal minefield with no clear statutory guidance.
I spend hours researching case law and crafting creative legal arguments for pre-birth orders because our legislature can't be bothered to pass laws that recognize how modern families are actually formed. One statute on ART. That's it. That's what we're working with.
But sure, let's spend time defining biological sex instead of actually helping families.
We Still Haven't Adopted the Uniform Parentage Act
The Uniform Parentage Act is model legislation that provides clear legal frameworks for establishing parentage in all kinds of family structures including those using assisted reproductive technology, surrogacy, and involving LGBTQ+ parents.
Dozens of states have adopted versions of it. North Carolina? Nope. We're out here winging it while families struggle to get basic legal recognition.
But biological sex definitions? That's apparently the priority.
Our Foster Care System is Overwhelmed
North Carolina has over 10,000 children in foster care right now. Ten thousand kids who need stable homes, adequate resources, and support.
Our legislature could be working on legislation to improve foster care outcomes, recruit and support more foster families, provide better services to kids aging out of the system, or address the underlying issues like poverty and substance abuse that lead to kids entering foster care in the first place.
Instead, we're defining biological sex. Cool. I'm sure those 10,000 kids feel super supported.
Our Courts Are Backed Up for Years
Want to get in front of a judge for a custody hearing in some North Carolina counties? Better pack your patience, because you might be waiting literal years.
Our court system is underfunded and overwhelmed. Families are stuck in limbo while custody disputes drag on and on because we don't have enough judges, enough courtrooms, enough support staff to handle the caseload.
Legislative solution? More funding for courts? More judges? Better case management systems? Nah. Let's pass a sex law instead.
Our Healthcare System is Collapsing
Let me tell you about my grandmother's recent ER experience in Wilmington. She fell and busted her head open. Blood everywhere. She was rushed to the ER.
She spent over twenty hours in a hallway. Not in a room - in a hallway. Her head soaked in blood. No bed. Barely any attention from overworked staff who were doing their best in an impossible situation.
It took nearly three days before she got an actual hospital room.
Three. Days.
This is not an isolated incident. Our emergency rooms are overrun. Our healthcare infrastructure is crumbling. People are suffering.
But yeah, definitely, biological sex definitions are the pressing issue we need to address.
Homelessness in Wilmington is Rampant
Walk through downtown Wilmington. Drive down Market Street. You'll see the reality: homelessness is everywhere and getting worse.
People living in tents. People sleeping on sidewalks. People struggling with mental illness and addiction with nowhere to go and no resources to help them.
We could be funding affordable housing initiatives. We could be expanding mental health services. We could be creating programs that actually address the root causes of homelessness.
Or we could pass laws about biological sex. Priorities.
Who This Law Actually Hurts
Let's talk about who pays the price for this legislative nonsense:
Transgender people who already face discrimination, violence, and barriers to healthcare now have their government officially declaring their identity invalid.
Intersex people - who are born with naturally occurring variations in sex characteristics - are completely erased by this binary definition.
Parents of LGBTQ+ kids who are watching their state government send the message that their children don't matter.
Families using assisted reproductive technology who still don't have clear legal protections because the legislature is too busy with culture war bullshit.
Every North Carolinian who could benefit from actual solutions to actual problems but instead gets this performative garbage.
The "Not an Issue for the Vast Majority" Argument
Here's what really gets me: the legislators pushing this law will claim it reflects the reality for the "vast majority" of North Carolinians.
You know what else affects the vast majority of North Carolinians? Access to healthcare. Homelessness on our streets. Kids in foster care. Court backlogs. Affordable housing. Education funding.
Those are majority issues. Those are things that affect thousands upon thousands of North Carolina residents every single day.
But we're not addressing those things. We're passing discriminatory laws that target a vulnerable minority while pretending it's about "clarity" or "biology."
It's cowardice disguised as governance.
What Families Actually Need
You want to know what families actually need from North Carolina's legislature?
Clear laws that protect intended parents, gestational carriers, and most importantly, the children born through these arrangements.
Adoption of the Uniform Parentage Act so that all kinds of families can establish legal parentage without fighting through a patchwork of outdated laws.
Adequate funding for family courts so that custody disputes can be resolved in months, not years.
Support for foster families and children so that kids in the system get the care and stability they deserve.
Healthcare infrastructure investment so that people having medical emergencies can get actual treatment instead of bleeding in hallways for twenty hours.
Housing initiatives that address homelessness instead of just criminalizing poverty.
Those are the things that would actually improve lives. Those are the things that would actually solve problems.
But instead, we get performance politics and discrimination.
Where Balbach & Davenport Legal Stands
At Balbach & Davenport Legal, we don't discriminate against anyone. Period.
We work with all kinds of families:
Same-sex couples
Different-sex couples
Single parents by choice
Trans and non-binary folks
Polyamorous families
Traditional nuclear families
Families using ART
Families through adoption
Blended families
Every other family structure you can imagine
Your family is valid. Your identity is valid. And we're here to help you get the legal protection and recognition you deserve, even when our state government fails you.
We absolutely love helping people start their families, whatever that looks like. Whether you're pursuing surrogacy, using a donor, adopting, or just need estate planning that respects your family structure. We see you, we support you, and we'll fight for your legal rights.
What You Can Do
If you're as angry about this as I am, here's what you can do:
Contact your legislators. Tell them to focus on real problems instead of discriminatory culture war nonsense. Tell them about the issues that actually affect your life.
Support LGBTQ+ organizations doing advocacy work in North Carolina. They're fighting these battles every day.
Vote. Elections matter. Every single one.
Show up for your LGBTQ+ neighbors. Visibility and support matter when the government is actively working against you.
Take care of your own legal needs. If you're in an LGBTQ+ relationship or building a non-traditional family, make sure your legal protections are as strong as possible. We can help with that.
The Families I Serve Deserve Better
I work with families every single day who are navigating complex legal issues because North Carolina's laws haven't caught up with reality.
Gay dads using a surrogate who need a pre-birth order but have to worry about which county they file in because some are more accepting than others.
Lesbian moms who need second parent adoption as backup protection because they can't trust that their marriage will be fully recognized everywhere.
Single parents by choice who want clear legal frameworks for their donor agreements but have to work around the gaps in our statutes.
Trans parents who need estate planning documents that respect their identity.
All of these families deserve comprehensive legal protections. They deserve a government that sees them and values them. They deserve legislation that actually addresses their needs.
Instead, they get this discriminatory garbage while real problems go unsolved.
I'm Tired of Watching This
I'm tired of watching our legislature waste time on laws that hurt people while ignoring the issues that actually matter.
I'm tired of navigating legal gray areas for my clients because lawmakers won't modernize our statutes.
I'm tired of seeing homeless people on every corner while politicians focus on bathroom bills and biological sex definitions.
I'm tired of watching my grandmother bleed in a hospital hallway while our healthcare system crumbles and nobody with the power to fix it seems to care.
I'm just tired.
But I'm not giving up. And neither should you.
We'll Keep Fighting
Until North Carolina gets its priorities straight, I'll keep doing this work.
I'll keep filing pre-birth orders and surrogacy agreements and donor contracts. I'll keep advocating for families who don't fit the traditional mold. I'll keep making sure my clients have every legal protection available, even when the system is stacked against them.
And I'll keep calling out legislative bullshit when I see it.
Because families deserve better. LGBTQ+ people deserve better. North Carolina deserves better.
If you're building a non-traditional family or need legal help navigating North Carolina's backwards laws, I'm here for you. At Balbach & Davenport Legal, we fight for all families, we don't discriminate, and we genuinely love helping people start their families. Your family deserves comprehensive legal protection, and I'll make sure you get it.
I'm Melenni Balbach, and I'm tired of this shit but I'm not tired of fighting for you.
