The Collaborative Approach: Collaborative divorce is a cooperative process where both spouses and their attorneys commit to resolving all issues outside of court. This checklist ensures you're prepared for the collaborative process and understand what to expect.

Interested in Collaborative Divorce?

Let Melenni explain how the collaborative divorce process can benefit you and your family. Not all family law attorneys practice collaborative law—make sure to ask if this service is offered.

Schedule Consultation

Getting Started

Initial Consultation

Meet with a collaborative divorce attorney to understand the process, benefits, and commitment required from both parties.

Both Parties Agree ESSENTIAL

Both spouses must voluntarily agree to the collaborative process. Neither party can be forced into it. This mutual commitment is critical to success.

Retain Collaborative Attorneys

Each spouse hires an attorney trained in collaborative law. Both attorneys sign a participation agreement committing to the process.

Sign Participation Agreement

Both parties sign an agreement committing to good faith negotiation, transparency, and the collaborative process. You agree not to go to court.

Neutral Professionals & Support

Neutral Financial Specialist (Optional)

A neutral financial expert (accountant or financial planner) can help both parties understand assets, debts, and tax implications. This is optional but often beneficial for complex financial situations.

Child Specialist (if applicable)

A neutral mental health professional or child advocate can help ensure children's needs are prioritized in custody and parenting discussions.

Divorce Coach (Optional)

A mental health professional can help both parties communicate effectively, manage emotions, and reduce conflict throughout the process.

💡 Cost Comparison: Collaborative vs. Litigation

Collaborative divorce typically costs $3,000-$5,000 total, whereas traditional litigation often costs $10,000-$50,000+ and can take years to resolve. The collaborative approach is faster, more cost-effective, and allows both parties to maintain control over the outcome.

Financial Disclosure & Transparency

Full Financial Disclosure MANDATORY

Both parties must provide complete, honest financial documentation. Full disclosure is non-negotiable in the collaborative process.

Tax Returns

Provide 3-5 years of tax returns (federal and state) to give a complete picture of income and financial situation.

Bank & Investment Statements

Recent statements from all bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, and savings vehicles.

Debt Documentation

List all debts (mortgages, car loans, credit cards, personal loans) with current balances and terms.

Property Valuations

Appraisals or valuations for real estate, vehicles, and significant personal property items.

Negotiation & Resolution

Joint Meetings

Joint meetings vary depending on the couple's wishes and comfort level. Some couples benefit from all parties meeting together, while others prefer separate discussions with attorneys. Work with your team to determine what's best for your situation.

Individual Attorney Consultation

Each spouse meets privately with their attorney between meetings to discuss strategy and concerns.

Issues Prioritization

Identify which issues are most important to each party and tackle easier issues first to build momentum.

Brainstorming & Creative Solutions

The collaborative process encourages creative problem-solving rather than "win-lose" thinking. Both parties focus on mutually beneficial outcomes.

Agreement Drafting

As issues are resolved, attorneys draft agreements. Regular reviews ensure all parties understand and agree to the terms.

Children & Custody (if applicable)

Child-Focused Discussions

Prioritize children's best interests. Discuss parenting plans, custody, visitation, and how to minimize disruption.

Child Specialist Input

If a child specialist is involved, they help ensure the parenting plan meets children's developmental and emotional needs.

Parenting Plan Development

Create a detailed parenting plan covering custody, visitation, holidays, decision-making authority, and communication.

Child Support Calculation

Use NC child support guidelines to calculate support amounts. Discuss and agree on any variations from guidelines.

Finalizing the Agreement

Complete Separation Agreement REQUIRED

A comprehensive written agreement covering property division, support, custody, and all other resolved issues.

Final Review & Approval

Both parties and their attorneys review the final agreement to ensure accuracy and completeness before signing.

Signing & Notarization

Both parties sign the agreement, often with notarization for enforceability.

File for Absolute Divorce

After ONE YEAR of separation, file for absolute divorce using the agreement.

Ready to Explore Collaborative Divorce?

Melenni offers collaborative divorce services and can guide you through this cooperative approach. Ask about availability for collaborative cases.

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DISCLAIMER: This checklist is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Collaborative divorce is a specialized process that requires commitment from both parties. You should consult with a qualified North Carolina family law attorney trained in collaborative law to ensure this approach is right for your situation. Balbach & Davenport Legal makes no warranties regarding the accuracy or completeness of this information.

North Carolina Collaborative Divorce Checklist