Planning Your Family: Whether you're considering adoption, surrogacy, second-parent adoption, or other family building options, this checklist helps you prepare for the legal journey ahead. North Carolina has specific requirements and options for LGBTQ+ families.

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Planning & Decision-Making

Explore Your Options

Research family building paths: adoption, fostering, surrogacy, fertility services, or other options that align with your family goals.

Partner Agreements (if applicable)

If you're partnered, have clear discussions about parental rights, responsibilities, and what happens if the relationship ends.

Financial Planning

Understand the costs involved in your chosen path and plan financially. Costs vary widely depending on the method.

Counseling & Support

Consider working with a therapist experienced with LGBTQ+ families to process emotions and prepare for parenthood.

Adoption (Domestic & International)

NC Adoption Laws IMPORTANT

NC permits LGBTQ+ individuals and couples to adopt. Same-sex couples can jointly adopt, and second-parent adoption is available.

Choose Adoption Agency

Select an agency experienced with LGBTQ+ adoptions. Ensure they're licensed and aligned with your values.

Home Study

Complete a home study with a licensed social worker. This includes home inspection, background checks, and interviews.

Background Check & Clearances

Obtain criminal background checks, child abuse/neglect clearances, and child sexual abuse registry clearances.

Matching & Placement

Work with your agency to find a match and proceed with placement. Understand the trial placement period.

Finalization

File adoption petition in district court. Once approved, you'll receive a final adoption decree establishing legal parenthood.

💡 Second-Parent Adoption

If one partner is already the parent and the other partner wants to adopt, NC allows second-parent adoption. This establishes legal parental rights for both partners and provides inheritance, custody, and insurance protections.

Surrogacy & Fertility Services

NC Surrogacy Laws IMPORTANT

NC allows gestational surrogacy. Clarify whether you'll use traditional or gestational surrogacy and understand the legal implications.

Choose Fertility Clinic

Select a clinic with experience working with LGBTQ+ couples. Understand their services and success rates.

Surrogacy Agency

Work with a reputable agency to help match you with a surrogate. Ensure they manage legal protections for all parties.

Surrogacy Agreement

Work with an attorney to draft a comprehensive surrogacy agreement covering compensation, legal parental rights, health insurance, and expectations.

Medical & Legal Coordination

Ensure medical team and legal counsel are coordinated. Parentage establishment paperwork must be prepared for signing after birth.

Birth Certificate & Parentage

File appropriate paperwork to establish you as the legal parents on the birth certificate.

Legal Protections & Documentation

Custody & Guardianship

Ensure legal custody/guardianship is clearly established for both partners. If unmarried, formalize co-parenting arrangements.

Wills & Estate Planning

Create wills designating guardians for your children if something happens to both parents. Ensure your partner is named as executor.

Healthcare Power of Attorney

Designate your partner as healthcare agent for both you and your child so decisions can be made if you're incapacitated.

Medical Directives

Create healthcare directives and HIPAA authorizations for your children so you can access medical information and make decisions.

Insurance & Benefits

Ensure children are listed as dependents on health insurance, life insurance policies, and benefit plans.

Post-Placement & Ongoing

Social Security Number

Obtain a Social Security number for your child. Needed for school enrollment and medical records.

Birth Certificate Registration

School & Medical Records

Legal Name (if applicable)

If your child was born with a different name, consider legal name change to align with your family name.

Ready to Start Your Journey?

Melenni provides knowledgeable support for LGBTQ+ families at every step.

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DISCLAIMER: This checklist is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Family planning and adoption laws are complex and vary by circumstance. You should consult with a qualified North Carolina family law attorney experienced with LGBTQ+ families to ensure your family is fully protected. Balbach & Davenport Legal makes no warranties regarding the accuracy or completeness of this information.

LGBT Family Planning Checklist